Progress--Is This What It Feels Like?

Today I bought a pair of jeans.  That is not earth-shattering.  I have bought jeans before.  But these were size 12 petite.

Granted, that is not the size I was in college, but it is sure a better number than last year.  Yes, I know that sizes are bigger than they used to be and not all designers use the same measurements for sizes.  But it still feels like progress.

Makes me feel like not saving any of those XL drawstring shorts and knit pants "because I will use them just when I exercise".  Those puppies are baggy for a reason!  Time for another closet purge.

I am considering new categories for whether it rates a space.  I call it the Cold Stone Creamery scale.  Put them into piles called  "Like It", "Love It" or "Gotta Have It".  Obviously, I liked it at one time or it never would have been in my closet in the first place!  So I need to figure out what I enjoy wearing and is flattering to the (slightly) smaller me.  Wish me luck!

I actually like my legs

The other day, while I was walking (wearing the new shorts I got for my birthday)  I glanced down and thought, "I like my legs."  What you need to understand is there were times before I was overweight that I did not like my body.  Recently, I saw some old photos of myself and I probably weighed what my goal weight is now.  But, I remember at the time I thought my body was not well-proportioned and that my hips were too big.

Looking back, I can see that most of that fat was in my head.  Not on my body.  I know I will never compete in the Olympics or probably have the fastest time at, say, anything.  But it doesn't mean I should stop moving.  It doesn't even mean that I won't complain about it sometimes.  (The heat index today is 107.)  My goal weight day may not be the happiest day in my whole life.  But for now, it feels like progress that I like my legs.

Start with the sock drawer

I heard a quote a long time ago from an actress who had been acting for a long time.  In essence, she said when you don't know where to begin changing your life, start with your sock drawer.

I actually did start with my socks.  Sorting them by color and separating the ones I use for walking from my non-athletic socks.  I even made a Zip-loc bag for all my Christmas socks.  And there were more than I thought.  Then I moved on to the closet to take out the XL stuff.  Don't need a fall-back plan where gaining weight is concerned.

Today, is Goodwill to get those too big and unused things out of my house forever!  Because when you don't know where to start, you can always start with the sock drawer.

Better numbers

Well, I had a cholesterol test again.  Total number is up, but triglycerides are better and my "good" cholesterol number is up.  Really that is just from moderate exercise since last September.  I am defining "moderate" as the fact that I can carry on a conversation while walking.  So, if I kicked it up to "strenuous" for awhile I might really see some changes.  Well, I want to think about this a little longer.  (And I might have a cheeseburger while I am thinking.)  To quote Bill Murray in "Something About Bob":  baby steps, baby steps.

Scrapbook on hangers

My project for today was to physically remove everything hanging in my closet with a tag that said XL or a numeric equivalent.  That made more room to see what actually fits these days.  Plus it reinforces that I am not allowing myself to plan on being that size again.

But I noticed lots of things are in my closet for other reasons than I wear it often.  Sometimes it is the memory that goes with the clothes that I don't want to get rid of.  A souvenir shirt from a vacation, a gift from a family member, etc.  So I basically have a scrapbook on hangers in my closet.  I guess the other thing that makes me aware of how many dated items are in there is seeing those trends come around for the second time in my lifetime.  Neon colors, maxi skirts---I have seen (and worn) those things before.  Even leggings are just reworked stirrup pants.

So I am starting with the closet, but it carries over into the rest of my life, too.  I don't really have to keep the item to keep the memory.  And I don't need old baggage to weigh me down.  A new day starts every morning.  That's just one example of the grace of God to everyone.

I like big snacks and I cannot lie

Well, it is a new year.  The gyms are crowded so this is no time for me to join.  Just wondering if anyone else is taking a break from their weight loss blog to eat some chips and salsa.

Maybe it is from growing up in a family with more than one child.  I have this fear that if I leave snack food just sitting out or even in the pantry it won't be there when I come back!  So to save myself from future temptation, I just eat it at one sitting.  Of course, it does not help that if I do leave some for a long time (like overnight) my husband thinks I don't like it and he does eat it.

I know this is probably not a common fear like fear of heights or public speaking, but it is my own.  I also could not understand the concept of a cookie jar when I was a kid.  Cookies were made to be eaten warm just as soon as they cooled enough to  handle as they came from the oven.  What jar?  Between the five or six of us at home we could polish off each batch as it came out.  I never remember there being leftover cookies.

Well, everyone has some family dysfunction to overcome.  I am just lucky it was about food.

Now it is the theme from "Rocky"

Did it.  Finished my official walking 5K.  So glad my friends encouraged me.  Especially Ruth, who slowed way down to walk it with me.  I had one goal.  The race began at 4 p.m. and I wanted to be done by dark.  Met my goal!  And I am wearing my very nicely designed long sleeve T-shirt as I type.

Stopped hearing the theme from "Jaws" and now I am hearing the theme from "Rocky".  You know, where he runs up all those steps.  Gonna fly now!

It feels good to finish with a group, instead of just walking for the "fun" of it.  By this time next year, I am visualizing myself wearing a single, instead of double-digit size.  Yes, I can see it!